The Apology (the Powers That Be screwed up again)

By now you may have heard of the incident with the USDA and Sherry Sherrod.  Sherry is black and was the Agriculture Department’s director of rural development in Georgia who was basically forced to resign after she supposedly made racist comments about a white farmer.

The facts presented prior to the firing and which led to the resignation was that she discriminated against a white farmer numerous years ago.  Someone posted a video on the Internet of her making remarks that 20 years ago she was reluctant to help a white famer in part because so many black farmers were suffering.  Various media outlets got a hold of the video and turned it into a story that indicated she, as a government employee, was racist.  This resulted in a harsh condemnation from the NAACP and a forced resignation due to USDA’s zero tolerance for discrimination.   The NAACP stated her comments were shameful and that it was appalled by her actions.

I remember hearing about this story on the radio but didn’t really think much of it.  Then, the next day I heard  the “rest of the story.”   The facts as we know them now are that she was giving a speech at a local NAACP banquet in Georgia.  During that speech she was explaining how she learned from her mistakes.   She told a story about how she initially didn’t help the farmer as much as she could have but realized that she was wrong and went on to help that farmer save his farm.  At the time, she was working for a nonprofit group, not the USDA.  She had a change of heart and explained that “working with him made me see that it’s really about those who have versus those who don’t…and they could be black, they could be white, they could be Hispanic – it made me realize that I needed to help poor people. This was corroborated by a Fox News interview of the wife’s farmer the next day. 

After the rest of the story came out it is said the White House called Secretary Tom Vilsack and suggested he “revisit” his decision about her employment.   However, Sherry wasn’t sure as of a couple days ago if she wanted her job back based on how she was treated.

MY THOUGHTS – people in positions of power often have to rely on those who work “under” them or next to them for information since they often do not have time to do the research and foot work on their own.   With that being said, those in power or those that work for them should be very careful about situations that may affect someone’s job or livelihood and those situations that involve charged issues such as racism.  I can understand being appalled at first; however, why didn’t anyone investigate a little further, especially since the NAACP recorded the entire thing? 

I understand that those involved are just people like you and me; however, with great power comes great responsibility and I hope this situation gives all “bosses” and “quick to give judgments” people pause.  This whole incident could have been averted if patience had prevailed and a bit of investigation had ensued. 

Bottom line is that the Powers That Be screwed up and now they need to back paddle and make it right.  It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t professional. 

LESSON TO BE LEARNED – Think before you fire someone!

Lindsay Lohan – what an idiot

Lindsay Lohan…what do you think of when you hear that name? I think of the phrase “what a waste!”  Here was a young lady who had everything going for her career-wise and she let herself get in the way. 

Originally she was charged with a DUI.  Here in Arizona a first time DUI offender receives the following sentence:

• 10 days in jail with 9 of those days suspended if they successfully complete probation (meaning they do what they are ordered to do);
•  their license is suspended for 90 days;
• they have to use an ignition interlock device on any vehicle they drive for a year;
• they have to pay a fine of around 250.00 (which is increased to around 500.00 when a surcharge is added);
• attend an alcohol screening class; and
• pay another 1,000.00 to two other “funds.”

If the person violates their probation or doesn’t do one of the above, the Court can pull them back into court and sentence them to more jail time (up to 6 months in jail for a first time DUI), or add additional terms to the sentence.  In my experience the defendant has to screw up a lot or big in order to be sentenced to more jail time.  Clearly the Judge in LiLo’s case thought she did.

In LiLo’s case she was sentenced to probation, which included alcohol treatment classes and random drug tests, for DUI and Reckless Driving.  All she had to do was follow the terms and conditions of her probation /sentence and she would be fine.  Thousands of others are able to do that on a daily basis, so why couldn’t she?  Clearly this was too much to ask of her.  If you ask me, I think she is too spoiled, delusional, disrespectful and egotistical to do what she has been ordered to do.  I am not going to blame her mother or her attorney.  She is an adult and responsible for herself – no more excuses.

And the fingernail incident, are you kidding me? That has to be one of the most arrogant, stupid and disrespectful actions I have ever seen a defendant take.  Trust me, that little stunt will forever be in the Judge’s mind and if LiLo messes up again, this will come back to bite her.  The Judge probably won’t say she took this stunt into consideration but the Judge is human and how can it not.

After finding that Lindsay in fact did violate her probation, Judge Marsha Revel sentenced her to 90 days in jail followed by another 90 days in an inpatient rehabilitation program. The evidenced presented at the hearing proved that LiLo failed to attend her alcohol education classes numerous times, was uncooperative with those trying to help her, and failed to attend court when required to do so (Remember the Cannes Film Festival and the stolen passport? Oh please). This lack of complete disrespect should be punished. I would be surprised if someone here in AZ would be sentenced to 90 days, but considering her history, it is possible.

Although I was not able to watch the entire hearing (it was replayed on Tru TV), with what I did see I thought her attorney did as good of a job as she could have.  Sometimes being a lawyer means that you have to try to be a janitor and clean up the mess your client made.  There was really no way that LiLo’s attorney could have cleaned up this mess.  How can an attorney be expected to explain away LiLo’s complete lack of respect for the system and the Judge? She simply cannot.  The violations were obvious and clear, LiLo messed up and now has to pay the consequences.

Lohan will surrender on July 20th at Judge Revel’s court and until then she must keep on her SCRAM bracelet.  I have no sympathies for her and she gets what she deserves.  Two words Lilo – GROW UP

Shellac! Wow!

I am one who has never had good nails.  They just simply are not strong and pretty on their own.  So, for years and years I have had my nails done.  I started with the yucky acrylic then graduated to gel nails.  I loved gel nails!  However, after I had my son I noticed my nails were much harder to maintain and I hated it when one broke.  Plus, my favorite nail tech and friend, Claudia, lives at least 35 minutes away so the trips to visit with her while she made me pretty again were often 2.5 – 3 hour trips.  If I was single with no kids this would not be a problem, but its hard when you are in demand! 

So, after 13 years I stopped getting my gel nails and went au naturale.  Just prior to my trip to Miami I went and had a simple manicure and pedicure.  Wow! I loved it! But, with me constantly washing my hands after diaper changes, feeding Mr. Rhett, doing the dishes etc. the manicure wouldn’t last long. 

Last time I went in I noticed a sign for Shellac.  Apparently this is a product put out by Creative Nails.  It isn’t supposed to chip, peel, crack etc. for a very very long time.  There is a base coat, the special polish and the top coat – all cooked under the UV light.  The cost is a bit more than a manicure but if it works like it says it does then it may just be worth it.  You can find more information about it at www.cnd.com.

The drawbacks are that there are only a few colors available (a red, orange, pink, light pink from what I can remember) and they are 15.95 per bottle.  The manicure and polish takes around 1 hour.

The pros are that its supposed to last!  I have attached a picture here to show you what my nails look like as of today, Wednesday – which is day 3.  So far so good! Looks like they were just done.  I will keep you updated ladies!

Beware of Those Close To You

Do you really know who touches your books? Do you really know the people that work for you?  Too often I have had clients come to me for advice when a trusted employee has taken advantage of them.  At times it has been money, other times it has been equipment or clients.  You can never be too careful but you can always be too trusting.  Telling yourself that you “want to believe in people” is fine; just make sure you remind yourself of that when you discover your trusted employee just embezzled thousands of dollars from you. Trust me, it pays to be diligent and observant.

You have worked very hard to create your business so do not let someone in who will destroy it.  There are steps that all smart and successful business owners take to ensure that their business is protected.  Temptation will always be there so limit the opportunity and the ability to steal from you.

First, you should complete background checks on any potential employees (or owners) that you want to extend an offer to.  There are numerous businesses and private investigators that can run a check and give you an answer within 48 hours.  The cost and time will be worth it and you should do it for all potential hires.  It only takes one person and one time to teach you this lesson.

Second, do not automatically and instantly give a new employee access to the bank accounts and checks, even if you hire them for accounting.  Make them earn your trust by showing their ability and loyalty. 

Third, never have just one person in charge of issuing checks for payroll or for expenses, or accepting checks for accounts receivable.  There should always be a checks and balance.  In all the criminal cases I have been involved with where businesses have lost thousands of dollars, one of the common elements is that only one person was in charge of the checks.  Require that there be two signatures on every check that is over $200.00.  Also, try to set up direct deposits or wire transfers for any accounts receivable. 

Fourth, be diligent.  You, as the owner, need to be diligent regarding your business records and bank statements.  Keep your records locked up and in a safe place.  A lot of information can be obtained from these records and the experienced thieves can use the information to get what they want including duplicate ATM cards and duplicate checks.  In fact, you should be the first person to review all bank statements and information from your bank.  Instruct your employees to bring all communications from your bank to you UNOPENED.  That way, you can be sure you were the first or the only person who reviewed the information.  I suggest signing up for on line banking so you can review this information on line.  Remember to keep your password protected since a thief can clean you out if they get access to your online banking accounts.

Fifth, continue to run periodic background checks.  Someone may have been “clean” when you first ran the check but now be up on charges or have lawsuits.  Medical problems, divorce and substance abuse can instantly change a trust worthy employee into a desperate person struggling to get by.

Sixth, ask your employees to participate in, or institute a drug testing procedure and policy.  After more than a decade in the criminal law field, I believe that the majority of crimes are centered around drug use.  Users often need to commit other crimes to get money to pay for their drugs. Some say drug use is a victimless crime, however, addicts often cannot lead “normal, productive” lives so they have to lie, cheat and steal to get their next fix.

Seventh, be overly cautious with friends and family members.  I know that this sounds cold but you have heard the saying that “we always hurt the ones we love.”  Just because they are family or friends does not mean they will not take advantage of you.  They can have the same problems mentioned above and believe that you would never turn them in.  Being diligent helps not only your business, but could save a friendship and a family.

You might read this blog and think “it won’t happen to me, I have good employees.”  Take it from someone who has seen too many of these types of cases to count, yes, it can and will happen to you.  Do it for your business and for your family, protect what is yours and do not be a victim.

FINALLY! ACCOUNTABILITY FOR CREDIT CARD COMPANIES

2010 has undoubtedly brought and continues to bring changes into our lives.  One such change is the “new credit card law.”  This law essentially requires more detailed notice to the card holder and requires the card issuer to be more up front and consistent in its actions. This is an extremely relevant issue since so many have to depend on their credit cards for everyday expenses.  Many of my clients have been victims of unanticipated credit card rate increases, even when they were current on their payments.  Apparently this was a growing concern with the powers that be and, as such, The Credit Card Accountability Responsibility and Disclosure (C.A.R.D.) Act (“Act”) of 2009 was created to provide protections from abusive credit card practices. Some parts of the Act went into effect August, 2009 and the rest are effective either Feb. 22, 2010 or August, 2010. This article will briefly touch on some of the protections contained in the Act.  If you need more information I recommend you visit www.consumer-action.org.

 NEW ACCOUNTS : Under the Act, creditors generally cannot raise interest rates or any fees during the first year an account is opened except: (1) When the increase is due to a variable indexed interest rate; (2) at the end of a promotional rate period; and/or (3) when the required minimum payment is not received within 60 days of the due date.  If there is an increase, the card holder must be given 45 days advance notice and an option to cancel the card, as well as the reason for the increase.  Additionally, the notice must explain that the increase will end within six months if the card holder makes all payments on time.

NOTICE OF RATE INCREASES: After the first year, the card issuer can raise the interest rate on future purchases (those made after the rate increase), or make other “significant” changes in terms with 45 days advance notice. Again, this advance notice must advise the card holder that they have the right to cancel the account.   No notice is required for changes to variable and promotional interest rates.

 RATE INCREASES ON EXISTING BALANCES:  Even after the first year of an account’s opening, card issuers cannot raise interest rates on existing balances, except:  (1) when the increase is due to a variable indexed interest rate; (2) at the end of the promotional rate period, provided that proper up-front notice was given and that the promotional period is at least six months. (No notice required when

introductory rate expires.) (3) if the required minimum payment is not received within 60 days after the due date.  As mentioned above, the card holder must be given 45 days advance notice and option to cancel and be given the reason for the interest rate increase and told that the interest rate increase will terminate within six months if the creditor receives the minimum payments on time during that period.

 OUTSTANDING BALANCE PAYMENTS:  If the card issuer changes the terms of the card, it is required to explain that the card holder can cancel the account before the effective date of any change. If the card holder decides to close or cancel the card, the closed account will not be considered a default and the card issuer cannot require immediate repayment of the entire balance.  In the case of a closure or cancellation, the card issuer must either:  (1) structure the balance to be paid over at least five years; or (2) require a minimum monthly payment equal to a percentage of the balance that is no

more than twice the percentage required for the old minimum payment. If you do elect to close the account, you can’t be forced to pay off your balance all at once. However, banks can set up a schedule that guarantees the balance will be paid off within five years, at the old interest rate.

 FEES AND PENALTIES:  No over-limit fees may be charged unless the card holder has given permission for transactions that exceed his or her credit limit. An over-limit fee may be imposed only once per any billing cycle in which the balance is over the credit limit.  Additionally, penalty fees (late fees, over-limit fees, etc.) must be reasonable and proportional.  What is considered “reasonable” has not yet been determined. Additionally, banks will be prohibited from charging overdraft fees on ATM and debit card transactions unless consumers have given their informed consent to use overdraft services. You cannot be charged an “over-limit” fee unless you affirmatively opt-in.

 

PAYMENT DUE DATES: These are extremely important to be aware of since they are the things that impact your credit report most.  Pay attention to your bill and make sure the card issuer is following the following rules: (1) card issuers must mail/deliver the billing statement at least 21 days before the due date; (2) card issuers must credit payments received by 5 p.m. on that day; (3) due dates must be on the same day each month; (4) if the payment due date falls on non-business days,  the creditor cannot consider payments received on the next following business day to be late; and (5) if a creditor accepts payments at local branches, the date payment is made at the branch will be considered the date the payment is posted.

 PAYMENT ALLOCATION:  Amounts in excess of the minimum payment must be applied to the balance with the highest interest rate, except during the last two billing statements before a deferred interest balance is due, where excess payments must be applied to the deferred balance.

 UNDER 21 YEARS OLD: Gone are the days of card issuers hanging out on college campuses and duping naïve college students into signing up for credit cards with high rates in exchange for a t-shirt or a free pizza.  Under the Act, before issuing a card to someone under 21, the issuer must obtain an application, which contains either:  (1) the signature of a co-signer over 21 who will be jointly liable for debts; or

(2) proof the under 21 year old can pay for the card themselves.   Additionally, the card issuers cannot raise the credit limit without written permission from the co-signer and cannot provide tangible gifts (having monetary value) to college students on or near campus in exchange for applying for credit.

 

CREDIT REPORTS:  Every person is entitled to a free credit report every 12 months from each of the three nationwide consumer-reporting agencies.  Free credit reports are available under federal law at annualcreditreport.com.  Additional copies can be ordered for a small fee.

With all of the above changes, we are sure to see the card issuers making changes in order to continue to make money.  To start, I anticipate the card issuers will charge annual fees and will revamp their rewards programs.  It is also likely that the card issuers will disguise and attempt to hide the required notices in packages that look like “junk mail.”  So, I recommend that you review your credit card statements, familiarize yourself with the above changes and read everything you get in the mail or via email.  Although the lenders are finally being held accountable for their actions, you need to continue to be responsible and diligent.

The Already Infamous Arizona Immigration Law – My Thoughts part I

SB1070 has created quite a problem and a dividing line in Arizona and across the Country. I think the majority of people are more concerned about what the results will be or what they anticipate the officers will do as opposed to the actual wording of the statute. The wording itself is not that difficult to understand when compared to other laws created by the Arizona Legislature.

Here is the portion of Arizona’s immigration law causing most of the debate:

“For any lawful stop, detention or arrest made by a law enforcement official or a law enforcement agency of this state or a law enforcement official or a law enforcement agency of a county, city, town or other political subdivision of this state in the enforcement of any other law or ordinance of a county, city or town of this state where reasonable suspicion exists that the person is an alien and is unlawfully present in the United States, a reasonable attempt shall be made, when practicable, to determine the immigration status of the person, except if the determination may hinder or obstruct an investigation.”

According to the plain wording of the statute this is basically what is needed:

• First, there has to be a lawful stop, detention or arrest by an officer; and

• Second, the officer must have reasonable suspicion to believe that the person is an alien and is unlawfully present in the US.

If those two things are present then the officer is required to make a reasonable attempt to determine the person’s status. That is it. The wording is not confusing and is pretty clear. The confusion and the questions come from the meaning:

• What is a lawful stop or detention (an arrest is pretty easy to figure out);

• What is reasonable suspicion; and

• What can reasonable suspicion be based upon.

No one is sure who the law will actually play out, and whether it will actually take effect. In fact, the Arizona Republic had an article last week that included numerous scenarios with answers/comments by various lawyers and legislators and they all had different answers to the scenarios. By now you likely know that I am an attorney and I could even think of several different answers to each scenario because I am not even sure how to interpret it. Again, it will be the interpretation and the implementation of the law that will be problem.

And, following up on my last comment, the biggest concern comes from the interpretation and implementation by the cops. In fact, I don’t think the cops even know how to interpret or implement the law. The various agencies are hard at work coming up with a training program to teach the officers, but, things will likely change and they will make mistakes. I wouldn’t want to be a cop right now because they are stuck between a rock and a hard place. For those officers who don’t like the law they will still be required to follow it because they can be reprimanded/suspended/terminated if they don’t, AND they can be sued by any citizen. I suppose there are some cops that are salivating over the law and cannot wait for it to take effect, but I would like to hope that this number is few.

I will continue to keep you updated on my thoughts and the turn of events, but, in the meantime you can catch me on KTAR 92.3 on Thursday nights at 8:30 p.m.

Stay tuned…

They Ran Out Of Drugs – Death Penalty

Whether you are for or against the death penalty for convicted killers, the news that came out this week and reported in the Arizona Republic is surprising and interesting. There is apparently a worldwide shortage of the drug “thiopental sodium” which is a drug used in lethal-injection procedures. Some believe that Arizona executions could be jeopardized because of this. This may come as good news to some and bad news to others, but I find it a bit unbelieveable that they actually ran out of the drug. I mean, after all, how many people are actually executed in a year? It couldn’t possibly be enough to run out of the drug!

If this is all new to you then you may be surprised to learn that Arizona does have the death penalty. In fact, Arizona has an official execution-procedure manual that was finalized September 2009. Makes you wonder who had the wonderful task of drafting that piece of literature. Hanging and the firing squad is no longer a reality here in Arizona. It executes convicted killers by using a cocktail of three drugs that are injected intravenously. The first is Thiopental which renders the person unconscious and supposedly impervious to the other two drugs. The second, Pancuronium Bromide, paralyzes the defendant so there are no visual signs of twitching or respiratory distress that could occur. Apparently this is for the sake of the witnesses. The last drug, Potassium Chloride, stops the heart.
Arizona carried out its last execution by lethal injection in May 2007, when it put to death Robert Comer, who murdered a man at an Apache Lake campground in 1987. It took 20 years.
The next possible execution in Arizona is that of Richard Lynn Bible. He was convicted for raping and murdering a 9 year old girl in Flagstaff back in 1988. The Arizona Supreme Court will be discussing his case this week or next. If the Court issues a death warrant he will be scheduled for execution in late June. But, if there is no drug available there will be no execution.

There is only one company in the U.S. that manufactures thiopental sodium, the needed drug, Hospira. The Arizona Republic reported that Dan Rosenberg, a spokesman for Hospira, said that the shortage was due to an unspecified “manufacturing issue.” Hospira expects the drug will be available again sometime between July 1 and September 30.

Believe it or not, Michael Jackson may have a remote connection to the shortage of the drug. An insider told the Arizona Republic that available stores of Thiopental have been further depleted because of a shortage of the drug Propofol, the anesthetic that killed pop star Michael Jackson. I don’t know, perhaps the fallout from the Jackson case is effecting the availability and manufacture of the drug.

Although there is probably a generic version of the needed drug, it cannot be swapped out because Arizona protocol dictates that this particular drug be used. The protocol does not allow a generic to be used. The protocol could be changed but it would take a while and cost the tax payers even more money paying those that would have to address and argue the issue.
Again, whether you are for or against the Death Penalty I think this is interesting and something you do not hear everyday. Putting someone to death through the legal system is extremely expensive and time consuming. From what I understand, it is more expensive for the taxpayers than housing an inmate for life. I do not know the most current statistics; however, with the budget shortfalls all over this state maybe something needs to change.

They are doing what?

Airlines

Unless you live under a rock you have heard about the drastic changes airlines have made over the past year in what they call “attempts to make up for lost revenue.”  I just recently took at trip to Miami and flew on two separate airlines and was confronted with a couple of these attempts.  First a disclosure, I did not like America West (fka America Worst) and I do not like US Airways, never have and likely never will.  I think it’s a bunch of crap when you are hit with a ”change fee” along with an increase in overall cost.  You cannot convince me that the $100.00 is necessary.  It’s like slapping all the fines on a DUI defendant, they have no choice and they have the money so they will pay it.  Not all airlines charge a “change fee” so I know it is not necessary.  That along will keep me from flying on those airlines if I can help it.

On my recent trip I flew on US Airways for the first part since my husband had a free ticket to use.  (By the way, you now can only use your free ticket for certain flights and it takes a mathematician to try to figure out the odds of being able to use your free ticket for any trips you actually want to take.)  It started at check-in.  My husband has been a silver and/or a gold member for as long as I can remember.  However, magically, when he goes to check his bag the computer shows that he has no status whatsoever and of course, NO ONE can help him or fix this because only some imaginary person that you can only reach on the phone after 45 minutes of being on hold can change this.  Even though he has the membership card with him they still will not help him and still charge him.  Apparently US Airways has decided that 25.00 is more important than customer service.  We did not raise a fuss because it does absolutely no good.

Then, shortly after takeoff the flight attendants come on the speaker and announce that “we left the airport without water so even though this is an early morning flight you will not be able to order coffee, and, you cannot wash your hands in the lavatory.”  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? How do you leave the airport without WATER?  How about sanitary guidelines and checklists? The attendants are serving food and they cannot even wash their hands.  Again, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?  Call me crazy but if I have already paid for a ticket, paid for my bag to be checked and paid all the ridiculous taxes and fees associated with my ticket is it too much to ask for the airline to make sure there is water on the plane????

I also do not appreciate when you are held hostage on a plane without any information whatsoever.  So, there you are, sitting on a plane that happens to be “delayed.”  Not only are you forced to sit in your seat and not allowed to use the bathroom, your phone, your computer, your iPod, your DVD player, etc, they simply refuse to consistently come on the speaker and inform you of what the HELL is going on.  So frustrating and so inconsiderate.  I truly believe people would be more calm if they were given more information. 

US Airways now charges you to use a blanket!  They keep the planes at below freezing but you cannot have a blanket unless you buy one. Oh, yeah, no more movies either.  And, when someone asked if there were any snacks like peanuts the attendant had to inform the poor guy that they only have things for “purchase.”  Apparently peanuts are too much to ask for now, along with water in the lavatory.

Lastly, I have heard that Spirit Airlines is charging for the bathroom because it is successful in the UK.  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????  This is a basic human need and when you are trapped on the plane (granted you choose to be trapped) this should not be allowed.  This so far tops the most ridiculous things list in my book.  Would you like to be the flight attendant that has to say no to the mommy with her toddler and without a 1.50?

Needless to say, I flew on American Airlines on the way home.  I didn’t incur a baggage fee, they gave me a free blanket, I had a movie to watch AND there was water.  I am glad that at least they, and Southwest Airlines, has not succumbed to the ridiculous strategies employed by others.

High Heels-Let’s Be Practical (at least a little bit)

High Heels

I love high heels! I do not wear them all the time nor do I actually delude myself into thinking that they are “comfortable” all the time like a certain girlfriend of mine does. High heels are probably not good for your legs or feet when you are hiking, running, going to Disneyland or to Magic Mountain, but they sure do look cute. Yes, I have heard the stories of those women who have come before us about crooked foot bones, bunions, arch problems, etc. Do they stop me from wearing them? No! But I have learned a few things over the years that I believe are basics and that every woman should know. Here are my Dos and Don’ts:

• Do not wear high heels if you cannot walk like a lady in them. Practice in the safety and privacy of your own home before you venture out, please.
• Do not wear high heels if you are touring a new city such as San Francisco or New York. Your calves and toes will continue to work the next day if you refrain.
• Do not wear stripper heels, unless of course you are a stripper and are working.
• Do not buy “cheap” heels. You may save money but will probably have to spend more on Tylenol and ankle braces when you break the heel or roll your ankle trying to dance like the sexy vamp you see in Beyonce videos.
•
And, two of the most important basic rules you should know, never forget and live by:

• Do not buy new heels to wear in Vegas or you will be “that girl” walking around drunk and barefoot with disgusting blisters, or in slippers you bought from the store you just walked by.
• Do not buy new heels for a wedding.

Now for my Dos:
• If you are a novice, start low and work your way up
• Keep your toes polished
• Wear new heels around the home until they are somewhat “broken in.”
• Purchase a quality pair of black heels for work.
• Purchase a quality pair of black heels for play. Quality heels are well worth the price and are much more comfortable.
• If the heels are not comfortable when you FIRST put them on things will not change. They will ALWAYS be uncomfortable no matter how cute they are. There will always be another pair so do not settle.

So, stick to my Dos and Don’ts and your heel wearing experience will be convincing and comfortable!

Husbands, Babies and Life

Husbands, Life, and Babies

Okay, I have been married for a little over 4 years and now have a 21 month old little boy.  I have been a working professional for over 11 years with a very respectable resume to show for it.  I have found that during my marriage sometimes life just gets in the way.  When you are first dating and in that lust phase everything centers around the other and although you are working and living life, you seem to focus on spending time with the other or getting things done so you can be with the other.  Well, I have found that after that phase comes real life and real relationships.  I have discovered that real life gets in the way.

My husband and I are not your traditional working American couple.  We both work from home in order to be around Mr. Rhett as much as we can.  We try to navigate both of our busy calendars and give the little guy everything he needs.  This is obviously the most important thing to us.  But, in trying to give him everything he needs, we often forgot about ourselves and our marriage.  At times we suffer from lack of sleep because we are still busy working professionals and are now mommy and daddy.  I especially notice that at least with myself, my body doesn’t quite look the same because I do not get the gym as much or as long as I used to.   This is mostly because I am busy and truth be told, I would rather be with my little one than do cardio on the treadmill.

We often talk about how we need to make sure we do not lose each other or the marriage just because our life has changed.  We don’t actually say those words, but the meaning is there.  This is a challenge and will continue to be in the future.  It is not easy.  We also realized that even with our arguments we have a healthy marriage.  We have also learned that not everyone can say this.  Many couples we know struggle, argue and do not communicate about it or the other things I have written here.  Many couples already married and soon to be married just don’t realize the one simple truth…MARRIAGE IS HARD.  There are those that deny it, but I don’t believe them.  Marriage is hard at times, easy at times, enjoyable at times and sad at times.  However, I have found that even in those moments of hardship I still love my husband.  We are not perfect and have a long way to go but we know that it’s not all roses and that it takes hard work.  For those that think it is easy, you are either extremely lucky or extremely delusional.